Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Learn, Good Soul



This has been a difficult and amazing couple of weeks. I went from a small audience of teachers, parents, and writers to a larger audience of the same, and while I'm happy about most of the thoughtful rebuttals I've received, some have cut deep. The pieces I compose late at night, after my kids are asleep, are precious to me. But I asked for it, and I have received. I dreamed of a dual career as teacher and writer, and here it is, spread out before me. 

That said, I was not prepared for the HUGE number of responses to the article I posted last week at The Atlantic that are based on either a topical reading of the title, or a surface reading of paragraphs one, four, or eight, and nothing in between. While I generally appreciate any responses to my midnight scribblings, many have been downright mean. Not thoughtful, not intelligent, just mean. Conversely, and interestingly, the most thoughtful rebuttals I've received this week are from the very smart authors who penned responses to my article in The AtlanticSusan Cain and Katherine Schultz are class acts. Seriously. Amazing women and thinkers. Women who reach out rather than strike out. Writers who understand the difference between clear-eyed response and blind retaliation. Writers who understand that words have weight, no matter how many of them float out there, unedited and misdirected, in the ether of the internet. 


I love thoughtful argument; I even teach it. The Roman's word for 'argument' does not derive from anger or dissent, it signifies persuasion and open debate. That, I respect. That's the definition of argument I teach my students. Extroverts and introverts alike. 

I truly believe in my position regarding class participation and teaching self-advocacy, and Susan Cain and Katherine Schultz truly believe in theirs. And yet - shocker - they are open to discussion where so many of their devotees are not. So many want to hurl insults while the women who lead the charge of the introverts/shy/social anxiety audience are the most open to dialogue. 


I am a teacher. I love what I do, and when I write, it is to open dialogue. I write to learn. I write to become a better teacher. I've read every comment to every post I've ever published, and I take most of them to heart. Some - the mean ones - I try to brush off, but even that is hard. A few of my nearest and dearest know I've shed tears over the most vitriolic comments and blog posts, and I've even lost sleep over the ones that have accused me of not respecting and my students with everything I am.


I've had great writing mentors who have instructed me not to read comments at all, to have someone I trust read and give percentages regarding positive and negative opinions, but as a teacher, I feel obligated to learn from what I write. I tell my students to be open to criticism, and therefore, I model the same. 


This week, I have a new article coming that will open new discussions, because that's why I do what I do. I write about the art of teaching and what makes for a good teacher. I have my dream job, and frankly, it would be much easier for me to keep my mouth shut and teach.


But if we are going to improve what we do, if we are going to become better educators, we need to talk publicly about our practices and find ways to learn from others.


And that's why I do what I do. So take your best shot. I'm here, and I'm listening. 


11 comments:

  1. At some point you're going to have face up to the idea that reading every comment is just impractical.

    And the proof is in the pudding: your children, your students.

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  2. I so admire this piece and your openness to learning. Your students are lucky --- as is your audience and I look forward to learning from and with you!
    Kathy Schultz

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  3. Alas, this is the nature of social media today. Were we all secretly this mean in the 20th century but just didn't have an outlet for anonymous rants or is this a new streak in our evolution that's developed in lightning speed? Fortunately, you are a teacher, and so you have the opportunity to turn a curse into a blessing. You can help your students recognize that an ad hominem attack reveals more about the speaker/writer than about the actual argument itself.

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  4. There are unfortunately so many internet trolls out there with nothing to do but post mean things. I once wrote a humor column about a tarantula in my house. In it I mention that I offed the tarantula, but then later realized that I over reacted and regretted my actions. Someone wrote that they hoped I died and that spiders eat my body. Nice huh? :)

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  5. "This week, I have a new article coming that will open new discussions, because that's why I do what I do. I write about the art of teaching and what makes for a good teacher. I have my dream job, and frankly, it would be much easier for me to keep my mouth shut and teach.

    But if we are going to improve what we do, if we are going to become better educators, we need to talk publicly about our practices and find ways to learn from others."


    It's nice, sometimes I post some thoughts and often people feel I write againt them. I only share what I think and would like people say when agree or disagree and why but neither I want offend, neither I want to be offended

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  6. It sounds like the introvert in you is feeling a little pain at being judged by its unique perception of the world. Being graded on one's vocal opinions is not productive when someone does not agree with you, it breaks the flow of communication. You are strong and experienced and have been deeply hurt by this. Not all kiddos have built up that resiliency (especially in Middle School where they are experiencing developmental drama on a daily basis). I'm sure this experience has probably given you some insight on how to connect more graciously with your students and have them speak up in your class. It is a skill you want to cultivate in them, not a grade you want to give, right? Good Luck.

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  7. I say, good for you that you're forcing a conversation. You've hit a nerve. A nerve that needs to be hit.

    I read this last week. Kathryn Harrison on publishing THE KISS: "I got reviews whose last words were “shut up.” … I understand myself to be a writer who people aren’t tepid about. People tend to really like my work or find the subjects I choose — the ones that choose me — offensive. I like being that writer, not the writer whose work you read and forget. I like to hit a nerve." (from WHY WE WRITE, p. 78)

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  8. Hey,

    Hang in there. Hard as it is, this is a good thing. The most interesting writing gives voice, isn't just a voice. So you said something that needed to be said and thought through. Debates around this topic tend toward the law of the excluded middle. Amanda Marcotte's response, which brought me to your lovely blog which I will continue to read and share with my colleagues and students, exemplifies this approach: really a predictable response that treats your piece as a straw man, the suggests that there are only two ways to think about it, her more thoughtful and reasonable response and your reactionary and retrograde one. (hey, two logical fallacies in a paragraph. Go, rhetoric.) Anyway, I'm sharing your atlantic piece, your blog entry, and pieces written in response to it with my first year college writing class. We'll talk about this issues involved, but also about making strong arguments and the ethic of civil debate. You represent a graceful, principled model I look forward to sharing with them. Thanks, Robert Danberg

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  9. You're starting conversations about education and what may or may not be best for middle school kids -- that's wonderful. For all the poorly crafted rebuttals you receive, the few thoughtful, intelligent, balanced ones must be worth it. You should be very proud, I'd say.

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  10. Thanks, everyone. It gets easier the thicker my skin grows. I've been sick and took a break from reading comments...hey - new theory: stressful comments harms the immune system. I will have to talk to my friendly neighborhood infectious disease doctor about that one.

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