Talking About Books on the Today Show

I got to spend the morning on the Today Show set talking about some of my favorite picks for books that transcend gender. Embed code is not working for some reason, so here's the link to the segment.

The Logical Conclusion

I heard today that my brilliant, lovely, and generous editor, Eleanor Barkhorn, is leaving The Atlantic for Vox.com. I'm absolutely bummed but thrilled for her, as she's going to be fantastic wherever she goes. We'd been working on a piece together, something we'd been discussing for a long time, and it seems fitting that it went live today, on the day she made her announcement.

Thank you, Eleanor. You have made me a better writer, a more organized thinker, and I will miss working with you so very, very much.

Our most recent post, on why now is the perfect time to get rid of points-based letter grades, is here.

Those That Understand

How do we know great teaching when we see it? If students can be sure of it in ten silent seconds of video, as Malcolm Gladwell described in Blink, what do they see? What is that thing, that spark that resides at the heart of great teaching? Is it apparent the moment a teacher  first enters the classroom or does it take a lifetime to achieve? Can great teaching be taught, or is it part of a larger talent - for performing, for attracting, or for creating some intangible, magical tether with students that allows for the transfer of knowledge and enthusiasm?

I certainly don't have the answers to these questions, but I'm hoping that by interviewing a series of great teachers we can chip away at the superficial exterior and get at some answers. As our nation attempts to uncover teacher and school effectiveness with their blunt tools, I worry that the details we really need to bring to light will get obliterated in their clumsy hands and destroy the truths that lie underneath. 

The first interview in this series will appear next week, but I'd like to get this party started with an excerpt from a book you've likely never read, or even heard of. Getting to Noh is a self-published book, the story of how a good man became a great teacher. Its author, Don Cannon, now retired, was once my English teacher. He is a gifted educator, and the first person to show me what great teaching looks like. He was not interested the simple transfer of information, he craved honest exchange. He was as interested in us as we were captivated by him, and in him, many of us found a love of literature, a thirst for deeper, greater meaning in those books, and a bit of direction on our own paths toward....well, wherever they lead. 

Rather than put words into his mouth, I will share his, from the introduction of his book, Getting to Noh. 

What I loved about teaching was the difficulty of it. Nothing was tangible or predictable. What worked one day, fell flat the next. What made someone else a good teacher, in my hands became muddied. When one problem was solved, another was created. More than skills, the young people before me craved vision. They wanted me to tell them what I saw when I looked at them. They wanted to be free to laugh, and sometimes to cry. They wanted to share thoughts they believed no one else had ever had. They wanted to know it was all right to be confused and to have dreams that were unrealistic. They wanted to be told then they had gone too far, so that they could tell me that I was wrong and unfair. They wanted to know that they would be forgiven when they fell short of expectations. But, most of all, they wanted someone to believe in them.  

What I didn't know at the time, however, and which complicated things considerably, was that teaching for me was a selfish act. I worked tirelessly to serve my students. I prepared constantly, reread every text before coming into class, corrected and commented on papers well into the night. I revised my "lessons" yearly, sometimes daily, to find ways to stimulate their interest and excite their thinking. When I came into class, I had lists of questions that personally I was looking to answer. I had ideas and possibilities I wanted to test against my students' thinking. Yet I wasn't interested so much in their receiving my knowledge as in being given access to theirs.  

Whether in need of their approval, in fear of being unsuccessful, or simply being caught up in the power and intoxication of self-discovery, meaningful dialogue, and occasionally the trappings of thinking for its own sake. I was working more for me than for them. Their exuberance, their defiance, their lack of barriers, excited me. Their need for discipline, for encouragement, for recognition, mirrored my own. I labored under the basic premise that anything is possible, that intelligence is universal, that change is a necessary fact of life. I longed to see them define their fate, invent themselves, imagine new possibilities, because it gave me faith that I could do so as well. At my best, I overcame my own needs and simply concentrated on satisfying theirs, but those moments were rare and all the more precious as a result.  

Teaching is a symbiotic exercise much like play, a vital exchange of energy and creative potential that can be grounded in rote or repetition (which has its place), but ultimately is realized in moments that feel timeless, the product of effortless grace. For me, all disciplines of any worth are like this, inherently interesting and full of unexpected wonder, whether they be sports like basketball, soccer, or even golf, or work like carpentry, planting a garden, or painting a house. All tasks have meaning and purpose if we are open to them. At my best, I helped my students understand that fact. Frustration, anxiety, and failure are part of the process. We must learn to embrace the pain of life. Whether learning a skill or creating a Self, we are ennobled by trials and surprised by their results. 

And with Don Cannon's sage words, I welcome you to "Those That Understand." Sign up for the posts over there on the right-hand side of the screen and I'll see you back here next week with my first guest, one of the most naturally talented educators I've ever seen.  

Uniquely Portable Magic

I got so many nice responses to the bibliography I put up for reference after a keynote I gave in Chicago, lots of sentiments such as "I love knowing what other people are reading!" so I thought I'd extend the thread. Now that I can read again (no concussion symptoms for a MONTH!) I'm going in big. Here's what I'm reading this week, starting at the top:

1. Dan Ariely's The (Honest) Truth About Dishonesty: How We Lie to Everyone--Especially Ourselves. (Harper) I found out about this book via James Lang, who wrote another book on honesty, Cheating Lessons. I wrote about that book for the Atlantic, and figured I'd go back to the source, as Lang is a big fan of Ariely. So far, it's fascinating. I'm about halfway through, and I particularly liked chapter two, "Fun With the Fudge Factor." Great book.

2. Amy Sutherland's Kicked, Bitten and Scratched: Life and Lessons at the World's Premier School for Exotic Animal Trainers. (Penguin) I'm a voracious reader of nonfiction, particularly life experience/adventure nonfiction, so I was shocked when I heard about this book at Dan Jones' reading for Love Illuminated at the Brookline Booksmith and realized I had not read it. I purchased it that night and have been devouring it. Amy heads off to Moorpark Exotic Animal Training and Management Program and, of course, a book results. She wrote about her experiences using some of these training techniques on her husband for Dan's New York Times column, Modern Love, and got a book deal out of that, which resulted in What Shamu Taught Me About Life, Love, and Marriage: Lessons for People From Animals and Their Trainers. Both books are a blast. I'm loving them. And, of course, now I want to enroll in Moorpark.

3. Melissa Atkins Wardy's Redefining Girly: How Parents Can Fight the Stereotyping and Sexualizing of Girlhood, from Birth to Tween. (Chicago Review Press) I have to admit to a reading bias here: I tend to read books about boys more often than I read about girls. I have two boys, my house is saturated with testosterone, and I've never been a very girly girl myself. That said, I really enjoyed Melissa's book. It gives practical advice about how to avoid inadvertently stereotyping or sexualizing girls. Melissa has some great ideas, and a perspective I don't think about much at home, but certainly have to pay attention to in the classroom (and there's a specific section for teachers). I've even shared some of her thoughts with my older son, in an attempt to get him attuned to the issues girls face, and how men should think about girls and women. I interviewed Melissa for my Atlantic piece on baby talk and upspeak, and her insights were invaluable. If you have a girl, or are a teacher, you should absolutely read this book.

4. Nathalia Holt's Cured: How the Berlin Patients Defeated HIV and Forever Changed Medical Science. (Dutton) Nathalia and I share an agent (the fabulous Laurie Abkemeier, but I found out about this book through my husband, Tim Lahey, an HIV physician and writer. A long, long time ago, in a land far, far away, I was an HIV researcher with Duke University and the CDC, so this is the one medical topic I can actually wrap my brain around and sink in with some comfort. Not that I needed the background knowledge; Nathalia does a fantastic job of clarifying and summarizing some really challenging material for a lay audience. I highly recommend this book if you are a fan of science writing (me! me!) and want to understand where things stand regarding HIV medicine and our pursuit of a cure.

NB: The title comes from Stephen King's On Writing, one of my very books in the world. In it, he writes, "Books are a uniquely portable magic."

At the Core of Things

This week's offering at "The Parent Teacher Conference" is a post I've been thinking about for a while. Parents often whisper questions about the Common Core, usually under their breath, as if they are ashamed that they never really paid attention when their kid's principal explained the details of the CC. I wrote this little primer to fill in knowledge gaps, and help parents understand what all the screaming and yelling is about.

Hangin' with Maria Montessori in the Windy City

Thanks so much to the Association of Illinois Montessori Schools and Near North Montessori for hosting me at such a fantastic conference. I knew going into this weekend that I would be preaching to a thoroughly converted choir, that Montessori teachers are advocates for their students' autonomy and the power of intrinsic motivation. However, I had no idea I'd meet such a smart and dedicated group of teachers and administrators. I was moved and inspired.

Here's the bibliography for my talk, including all of the books and studies I specifically mentioned in my talk to both parents and administrators, and the keynote for teachers.

Thanks again, and please, email me at teacherlahey@gmail.com if you'd like to be on the mailing list for intermittent news about my articles and my book, The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed, due to come out in August of 2015 from HarperCollins.

Books referenced in my talk:

Daniel Pink, Drive: The Surprising Truth About WhatMotivates Us

Edward Deci, Why We Do What We Do: UnderstandingSelf-Motivation

Carol Dweck, Mindset: The New Psychology of Success

Wendy Grolnick and Kathy Seal, Pressured Parents, Stressed-Out Kids:Dealing With Competition While Raising a Successful Kids

Wendy Grolnick, The Psychology of Parental Control: HowWell-meant Parenting Backfires

Vicki Hoefle, Duct Tape Parenting

Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman, Top Dog

William Shakespeare, Henry IV, Part I

Study: inflated praise makes children with low self-esteem feel worse. http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/news/fullstory_143884.html

Not referenced, but also interesting:

James M. Lang, Cheating Lessons: Learning from AcademicDishonesty (kids don’t cheat on tasks for which they are intrinsically motivated)

Deborah Stipek and Kathy Seal: Motivated Minds: RaisingChildren to Love Learning

Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman, Nurture Shock

Get Thee a Husband

I get to be the proud wife today, as Tim Lahey has made his New York Times debut (in digital AND Monday's print edition!), on the ethics of videotaping patients in hospitals. You can read the article here.

If you are interested in medical ethics or his ramblings on everything from medicine to poetry, read his blog, Murmurs.